Let's Talk About Culture Shock: A First-Gen Latinx Experience

Have you ever wondered how different your life would have been if you hadn't grown up the way you did. I mean think about it, do you think you'd be the same person you are today? Maybe better or worse? Who knows, but it's worth the thought.

Through the many events that transpire throughout our lifetimes, it's easy to get lost in translation. As we grow into adulthood, we tend to develop a better understanding of our persona - who am I? what do I have to offer? I can assure you it is an enlightening experience - to say the least. For many of us, it's discovering who we are as individuals and look beyond the superficial and tangible things in life that surrounds us. This is the true reality of many young adults, but what about for us first-generation students entering college - an unprecedented environment filled with infinite possibilities and interchangeable dreams. What should first-generation Latinx students entering college expect? Is it all it's thought to be?

Going to college was never a far-fetch dream, I mean truly, it never crossed my mind I wouldn't attend a four-year university. I always knew I would pursue higher education, sure there was always that thought in the back of my mind of whether or not I'd actually be able to afford it, but nonetheless the drive was still there.

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My parents never had the opportunity to pay for tutors or send me to a prestigious private school in the DFW area. They just didn't have the monetary opportunity to do so. The nearest high school from me is filled with drugs, sex, and contraband - so understandably not a suitable option for any student seeking academic enrichment. Naturally I looked into other options which might be a better fit for my future endeavors - a magnet school was the place to be. During this time, I was attending W.E. Greiner Exploratory Arts Academy, this was Dallas ISD's only Fine Arts Academy offering concentrations in visual art, band, choir, dance, mariachi, orchestra, piano and theater. You can think of this as a rundown middle school version of Victorious', Hollywood Arts High School, but less glamorous and no IRL Mr. Sikowitz. I know what you're thinking, what concentration were you part of? I was a former theater kid in my grade school years, but evolved into a choir (glee wannabe), which comes to no surprise. For a short period I thought I might pursue a degree in music, but I soon realized that though I had a love for music, that wasn't something I was truly passionate about.

W.E. Greiner Exploratory Arts Academy

Ever since middle school I knew I wanted to pursue a STEM career. I hoped to take on genetic engineering as a career, but I also wanted to pursue law, and so the dilemma was finding something that checked both boxes, that's when I found my love for forensics. When looking for a magnet school to apply for, I knew I wanted to attend a school which would expand my knowledge of the field and allow me to gain first-hand experience.

March 2014, frog dissection lab

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Through my four years of high school I never really thought about how different life would be after I graduated. I lived in a loving, diverse community, attended an academically outstanding school, and had the most pleasant time growing as an individual both personally and academically. As you might recall from my previous post, I grew up in Pleasant Grove, south Dallas to be exact, but I attended a school located in another neighborhood wedged between south and west Dallas called Oak Cliff. I attended Yvonne A. Ewell Townview Magnet Center (TMC for short). TMC is a campus that houses six independent magnet high schools in the Dallas Independent School District: Talented and Gifted (TAG) , Science and Engineering Magnet School (SEM), School of Business and Management (SBM), Judge Barefoot Sanders Law Magnet (JBS Law Magnet), Rosie M. Collins Sorrells School of Education and Social Services, and School of Health Professions.

Yvonne A. Ewell Townview Magnet Center

My years at the JBS Law Magnet were filled with endless possibilities and lifetime memories. The friends I made along the way are friends that I continue to have great affection for. They're all out making a name for themselves - some are recent undergrad graduates, others joined the military, some are starting their final year of college this upcoming fall semester, others started a family and some even have children. As I scroll through social media, I come to realize that those whom I called friends are no longer the same person I knew in a previous time. They've changed - they've matured. Many of us grew up in the same neighborhoods, so being able to soak in the glory of their academic and social achievements is refreshing and fulfilling. The hardships that came with our upbringing are real in the latinx community and is not spoken enough about. The educational gap between wealthy and poor children is one of the clearest manifestations of growing economic inequality in our nation.

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Being able to flourish academically and socially is an important part of self development. Through my journey across academia I find that to be a pivotal element of success. For many first-generation students, burn-out is real. The pressure to succeed is evident and a need rather than a want for those who grew up in poverty. Surrounding yourself with friends and family that cater emotional support is an important aspect of our journey as we pursue higher education. That being said, as I navigated through middle school and high school I never really had trouble gaining meaningful friendships. When I reflect on it now, the relationships that I developed back home were founded on deep cultural roots we all interchangeably shared- consciously or unconsciously. Wether we realized it or not, many of us formed friendships on the basis of ethnic identity and found a reflection of home with those whom we shared a connection with.

February 2016, Average day at JBS Law Magnet

March 2019, Senior Skip Day

The conversations that my friends and I held consisted of dreams and aspirations in the hopes of one day becoming someone. ¿Qué es ser alguien en la vida? When I was younger my mother would always say that she hoped I would become someone in life, but what did she mean by this? I mean truly, when I was younger I thought it meant becoming someone with a career and a stable income, but as I grew older I came to interpret the deeper meaning behind her words. In part it was true, she does hope I graduate college and work a stable job using my degree, but as I grew to understand ser alguien en la vida goes beyond a career, beyond a tangible idea. It meant becoming content with whom you've become. As first-generation students we often feel a constant pressure to become the perfect vision of our parents. Many of us are living the life our parents want, accomplishing their dreams and forgetting our own along the way. As first-generation Latinx students, many of us master the art of perfectionism, because, in a way, we feel guilty for the missed opportunities of our parents and find that becoming the perfect version of them is a way of repaying for all their sacrifice and hardwork. The true reality for many children of immigrants - finding a job that fulfills monetary needs that often lack emotional fulfillment because the circumstances. As children of immigrants, we find that persistent need to fulfill the needs and dreams of our parents, and often neglect our own due to guilt, but its important to acknowledge that for many of us, all our parents want is the very best and mean no harm, but often, misinterpretation gets the better of us - leading to a path of dissatisfaction, regret and resentment.

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My first visit to Oklahoma Baptist University was in December of 2018. Oklahoma was not a state I had in mind for college, in fact, my plans were to move up north, but funny how life can turn out, am I right? OBU offered a forensic biology major, so I decided to tour the campus during their winter preview days. I had toured college campuses before, but this was the first out of state university I would visit and the first I'd be accompanied by one of my parents. During this time, high profile racism was present in the country, with videos circulating on social media and news outlets of how spiteful, hateful and racist some people can be, I naturally felt a bit intimidated by the environment I would be entering. A language barrier was inevitable. My parents are from Mexico and their English is limited to an extent, so I felt a bit disoriented when I realized diversity was evidently disproportionate.

April 2019, Priority Enrollment Day

When priority enrollment day came around, I was dreading the idea of making the commitment to leave what I've known my whole life, and moving to a new state with no family near. I never spoke up about my concerns to my parents - I felt it was too late. When I enrolled into OBU, I thought I had made the worst decision of my life, and there was no turning back. I didn't realize how important diversity was when deciding on a college to attend and I made that realization a little too late. Don't get me wrong, I love OBU, the community it fosters is the prime reason why I decided to enroll in the university, but that alone, I realized, was not enough for me to have a pleasant college experience.

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I started my first semester of college in the fall of 2019. I was excited to start a new chapter in my life, but I was terrified of the idea of making friends. As I reflect on who I was in my early days of undergrad, the first-generation college experience is unique, unlike no other I'd argue. Culture shock is a universal experience for those who go outside the realms of their own reality, and the truth is that it can be hard to adjust to a new environment. When you grow in a place such as Dallas, Texas, social norms that were once a commonality to you are foreign to others. Loneliness and homesickness is a common feeling amongst many first-year students. I think we can all agree many of us struggled to make friends the first few weeks, even the first few months of our first semester. It's an awkward stage many of us try to put past us, but an important one nevertheless. My entire life I had been surrounded by the latinx and black community. I was not accustomed to lack of diversity I found in Shawnee, Oklahoma. Making friends was excruciatingly difficult, the people I met on campus during my initial time here were kind and friendly, but I didn't necessarily feel a connection with them through the way I was accustomed to. The relationships that I developed back home were founded on deep cultural roots we all interchangeably shared- consciously or unconsciously. Wether we realized it or not, many of us formed friendships on the basis of ethnic identity and found a reflection of home with those whom we shared a connection with, so consequently developing friendships on Bison Hill was a challenge I wasn't sure I wanted to take on. My first instinct was to look for a hispanic or Latinx affinity group on campus, but to my surprise there was none and never had been.

February 2020, first snowpocalypse at OBU

Diana (left) was my first Latina friend on Bison Hill.

There was no multicultural clubs that represented hispanic or latinx culture on campus. The need of multicultural clubs on campuses nationally is such an important part of a positive college experience that many college admissions dismiss. The need for minority students to feel welcomed and embraced in an environment is a pivotal conversation smaller private universities need to acknowledge. I grew in a place where I was fortunate enough to have a community that was very culturally diverse, which in turn allowed me to grow up very fond and close to my mexican heritage. Growing up in southeast Dallas, the Latinx community is abundant and diverse within itself. Coming to OBU was a complete shift from what I had known my entire life - culturally. I felt as if a piece of me was missing - my latin identity. It was through this identity crisis that I decided to start the Latin American Student Organization to create a community within OBU that exemplfied, celebrated, and appreciated Latin American students on Bison Hill. It is vital to facilitate diversity when given the opportunity. Representation matters, and I believe LASO contributes to that notion.

April 2022, LASO Picnic for Shoot Your Shot Week at OBU

What makes LASO sepcial? The students. LASO would be nothing without the people who take part in it. Each of them posses their own uniqueness in more than one way, we are a diverse group of students each from distinct cultural backgrounds. LASO has relationships and ties within its members. We are not just members, we are friends. I believe that is what ultimately makes us different - our ability to foster friendships that transverese a multicultural club. Being able to start the Latin American Student Organization was the best decision I could have ever made. I was able to foster a community where Latinx students felt welcomed and accepted. Many of the members are first-generation students, so being able to share a safe place with students in a similar situation as me is truly rewarding. I will admit however, it has not been easy. Becoming the founder of the first Latinx multicultural club on campus was and continues to be a challenging role, but I am grateful for the continuous learning experiences I've gain throughout the years as leader of this club which I love and care for deeply. Being able to progress diversity through leadership is significant when accounting for the culture shock many first-generation Latinx students endure. Facilitating the college transition for Latinx students can be done so through the advancement of multicultural clubs while also enabling students to do so through an array of tools vital to diversity progression which each institution should have the ability to do.

It's important to acknowledge the full array of diversity within the Latinx community. As president of this organization my priority is to accurately represent and acknowledge each of the cultures and ethnicities present on campus.

Through the continuous reflection of my undergrad experience, the most important lesson I've gained from these past few years has been: sigue tus metas, cumple tus sueños, sin olvidar quién eres, de dónde vienes y hacia dónde vas, siempre con humildad.

The opportunity that has been bestowed upon me to serve the Latinx community on campus, as well as outside of it, has been remarkable to see flourish into something beautiful.

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Graduating high school was a huge accomplishment considering I was also a first-generation high school graduate. Through drive and ambition I managed to get into college, getting a little more than 80 percent of my college paid for through grants and scholarships. As I go into my last year of undergrad I can't help but acknowledge how far I've come. Not only academically, but as an individual. I am no longer that introverted and intimated individual, uncertain of her capabilities. As I continue my journey through academia, I only hope to strengthen my abilities while also refining my weaknesses. Life is a journey where we learn as we go, new life experiences are inevitable, but learning to manage and take them on as we go is vital to personal and professional growth. If someone would have told me 5 years ago that I would be doing what I am today, I would have dismissed it completely. Life takes turns in unexpected ways, but I think that's the glory of living in a nutshell.

Being able to cater the needs of the Latinx community on campus has been an extraordinary privilege. I have found a loving and embracing community at OBU that has proven itself to be selfless in more ways than one. Culture shock is a real experience. One take away from this blog I hope readers take is this: Wherever you go, whatever you do, representation matters, so do your very best to be involved, advocate for change, and positively challenge and motivate those around you, without loosing sight of who you are and where you come from.

May 2019, Senior picture

May 2019, JBS Law Magnet graduation

My journey through academia is long from over, but the experiences that I've acquired throughout my undergraduate years has allowed me to acknowledge the persistent need for diversity and progression in education. Since a very young age my parents installed in me the importance of education. Poverty is multidimensional, it extends beyond money. As minorities in a sea of endless possibilities, I encourage you to seek out change and advocate for the underserved. Knowledge is power. Only 11 percent of the Latinx population hold a bachelors degree, and less than five percent hold a graduate degree. The disproportionality is evident, but do not let that discourage you. Be the change you want to see in our community. Through leadership roles and advocacy, we can bridge the gap of educational disparity that continuously affects minorities.